Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Build Your Best Life

Have you ever caught yourself scrolling through social media, feeling inadequate as you compare your life to others? You're not alone—90% of people do it!

But what if we shifted that focus inward? How much could we grow and achieve?

In this episode, we unpack the potential for improvement that comes when we stop making excuses and start taking full responsibility for our lives.

Together, we’ll explore:

• Why it’s crucial to list your REASONS for changing.
• How to raise your personal "thermostat" beyond lukewarm.
• Strategies for maintaining motivation and clarity in your goals amidst everyday chaos.

Get ready to embrace the power of change and start your journey towards becoming the BEST VERSION of yourself. Tune in and step into a life where YOU are the focus!

Chapters

• 0:04 The Power of Self-Improvement
• 13:52 Finding the Power of Change
• 17:58 Overcoming Past to Achieve Success

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Welcome to the Dream Chaser Show. Our mission is to inspire and improve the lives of those who dare to chase their dreams. Here's your host, eric Heidren. Welcome back to the Dream Chaser Show, where our mission is to inspire and improve the lives of those who are daring to chase their dreams. Today, I've got a pretty big message I want to share with you, so let's just dive right in.

Speaker 1: 0:34

Have you ever found yourself spending a ton of time thinking about and focusing on other people, what they're doing, what they're not doing, things? They have something they said or something you wish you would have said to them during a certain moment in time. We have this tendency to focus on other people, and I think the reason is because we're just designed that way. We're wired to focus on other people. In fact, scripture tells us to love thy neighbor as thyself, and it's an important phrase to remember. It just goes to show exactly how important other people are in our lives.

Speaker 1: 1:12

One thing we also like to do is watch people. It's the reason we like watching sports or reality TV shows. People are just interesting. I used to watch this show called Big Brother, where they would pluck random strangers from around the globe and they'd stick them into this house for a few months, together with hidden cameras everywhere. They'd make them do challenges and prank each other. They'd get into fights, of course, heck, you could even tune in 24-7 on a live feed and watch what snack they're eating at 2 am. What actually blew my mind was that people did that 2 am. What actually blew my mind was that people did that. Okay, I went on there once and I checked it out and I'm reading these comments and there was a ton of people just watching them at 2 am. So this just proves my point.

Speaker 1: 1:54

People are interesting to watch, but where we need to be careful is when we start gossiping about other people's flaws or comparing ourselves to them and what they have versus what we have. There are three big reasons why we compare ourselves to other people. The first is that it allows us to criticize other people. I always go back to easy versus hard when it comes to choices in life. There's easy way and then there's a hard way, and when we look around at other people, it's so easy to find their character flaws, isn't it? It's just easy to gossip. It's easy to pick out and say, oh, can you believe Jimmy did this? Can you believe Susie's doing that, oh, billy's getting a divorce, and it's just easy to find those things. That's kind of the low hanging fruit versus finding the positive things about other people can be a lot more difficult, especially if we don't like that person.

Speaker 1: 2:50

The second reason we tend to compare ourselves to other people is that it justifies the decisions we've made in our lives. Right, we look at other people and we say they're screwing up here and I'm doing well here. That person's an alcoholic or that person's homeless. They must have done something to deserve that and I am doing better. I've got this house, I've got this vehicle, whatever. We look around and we find reasons to justify what we have, reasons to justify the decisions we've made in our lives. And then the third is it gives us a pass or an excuse for our shortcomings.

Speaker 1: 3:28

If we don't have something that another person has, let's just use money. Money's a pretty easy example. It's easy to quantify and count. If somebody has more money than us, we'll have this tendency to look at them and say, oh, they must have got there because of some ill-gotten means, they must have stepped on the backs of other people to get where they're at, or they got really lucky to get where they're at, or they know the right people right I've had all these thoughts myself or they don't have the issues that I have.

Speaker 1: 4:01

They don't have my kids, they don't have the crappy job that I have. They don't have my boss, who's overwhelming and overpowering and condescending. They don't have these stressors that I have in my life. So it gives us this pass, this excuse for not being where we want to be, and I think we've all been there if we're just being honest with ourselves. All been there if we're just being honest with ourselves. But what we need to understand is that our lives get better when we start focusing on ourselves, when we look in the mirror and finally take ownership and responsibility for the things that are happening to us and stop pushing the blame out to the people around us.

Speaker 1: 4:41

It's time to say I'm done doing this thing. I'm done being that person. I'm done being broke. I'm done having no time to spend with my kids. I want to change and no one can do it for me. I want to get better and in today's episode, we're going to focus on your improvement, focus on your skills, focus on your goals, and when you do all that, watch everything else in your life get better for you. So let's get to it All right. Life gets better as you get better. Your bank account starts looking better, your health starts looking better, your family starts looking better, your marriage, your friendships, your enjoyment, your experiences in life all of that stuff will get better as you get better. And now it is going to take some time and some serious effort on your part.

Speaker 1: 5:34

Change is definitely not easy. Change is simple, but it's not easy Mainly because you're fighting against who you are, inherently, who you've become over the years. The small decisions, small habits, small choices you've made. They compound over time and then they become who you are and it just becomes what you do every day. So you're going to be fighting against the current person that you are, but it doesn't have to dictate your future.

Speaker 1: 6:04

I think of it like this it's kind of like a thermostat in a room. If you set the temperature to the thermostat in the room at 70 degrees, well, it's going to maintain 70 degrees. Right, it doesn't matter what the outside is like. It doesn't matter if it's really hot, 100 degrees outside, the inside of your house is 70. If it's very, very cold, the heat kicks on, keeps the house at 70. That's kind of how we are as people. You could have the best opportunities in the world, you could have a hundred degree opportunity, but if your skills, your personality, your habits don't match that, you won't be able to capitalize on that opportunity. You'll find a way to maintain a 70 degree life. And it's just on the opposite end too. If your skills, your habits, your actions are 100 degrees, you're constantly working on yourself, you're constantly improving and focusing on your goals. When that 100 degree opportunity shows up, you're already operating at 100 degrees. You're going to be able to take it just like that. But so many people around us, they're just lukewarm. So I want to get that thermostat up Now.

Speaker 1: 7:13

If you want to be done with the negative areas in your life the anxieties, the doubts, worries, fears, frustrations if you want more for yourself than you already have, you must be willing to become more. If you want more for yourself than you already have, you must be willing to become more. This is usually that phrase where somebody says oh, eric, people can't change, people don't change. Well, I'm here to tell you firsthand, from personal experience, that people can change. This guy on the other end of the microphone is one of them.

Speaker 1: 7:53

I struggle with things, just like everybody else. It rains on me just like it rains on everybody else. I'm a sinner. I've struggled with a lot of things. I've been completely broke. I've struggled with lust for women, anger at people who've wronged me or who've hurt me. I've struggled with addictions, alcohol me or who've hurt me. I've struggled with addictions, alcohol, drugs, all of those things. My list, honestly, is pretty long, and maybe your list is long too. But you know what? The good thing is that if you overcome those struggles and those hurdles and setbacks, you become greater than the person you are right now. You become greater than the person you are right now. You cannot have great success and great flourishment without first overcoming obstacles. It's just, it's a weird law of life, that hurdles and obstacles get thrown at people and the ones that overcome them can achieve their goals and find fulfillment, but the ones that can't overcome them, they wallow in these negative emotions that we just mentioned.

Speaker 1: 9:03

I have this mantra that I say to myself kind of repetitively every day. I can't remember who said it, but it goes like this Day by day, I'm getting better in every way. Day by day, I'm getting better in every way. Day by day, I'm getting better in every way and, like I said, life has this way of putting these obstacles in front of us. When we want to attain something or do something or become something, adversity starts showing up, doesn't it Struggle? But the beautiful thing is, with every struggle comes some sort of opportunity. It's like the seasons around us there's spring, summer, fall and winter. They always go in that order. They never change right. So the struggles and adversities are like the winter time Some are longer than others, some are shorter, some are hard and brutal, but there's going to be spring. And if you're planning and preparing in the wintertime, during those times of struggle and adversity, and you're trying to become better, spring is going to be your time to take action. That's time to plant those seeds so that, come fall, you're reaping the harvest a good harvest. You're fall. You're reaping the harvest A good harvest. You're either going to be reaping a harvest or you're going to be begging for food.

Speaker 1: 10:22

Okay, let's take a little break from the message and do something fun. This is the Brain Teaser segment, where we put your thinking skills to the test and challenge your mind with puzzles and riddles. So grab your thinking cap and let's go. Hey everyone, we're going to work on creativity and thinking outside the box. Creativity and thinking outside the box. After all, if we want to chase our dreams, we need the ability to think clearly, have fresh ideas and build mental fortitude for when things get tough. Here's how this works. I'm going to tell you a brain teaser and then give you some time to think about the answer. I want you to really think too. Try to find the answer. If you need to pause the episode to think about it for a minute, press play and see if you got the answer right. Remember, we're trying to build creativity.

Speaker 1: 11:28

Here's the first question what gets wetter as it dries? What gets wetter as it dries? Here comes the answer A towel. Next question what is it that? No matter how little or how much you use it, you change it every month. What is it that, no matter how little or how much you use it, you change it every month? Here comes the answer A calendar. Here's the answer A calendar. Here's the last question what has cities but no houses, forests but no trees, and water but no fish? What has cities but no houses, forests but no trees, and water but no fish? Here comes the answer A map, like a city map. And that's the end of the questions. How'd you do? Did you get all of them? Did you get one or two? Maybe you got none, and that's okay, because we're going to try again on the next episode. Let's get back to the message. Back to the message.

Speaker 1: 13:18

One of the other beautiful things is that when you overcome something, you get to turn around and help someone else going through it. I always think about this. You're most qualified to help the person you used to be. If you used to struggle with something and you've overcome it, you're able to now understand that problem and you can understand that person and you can also teach them the tools and strategies that you used to overcome that situation. So you're most qualified to help the person that you used to be, and from that I can tell you that people can definitely change.

Speaker 1: 13:52

The only reason you wouldn't be able to change is because you don't want it bad enough. Now you say you want to get in shape, but not bad enough. You want to be a better parent, a better spouse, give up bad habits like binge watching TV, video games, drinking, but you're struggling. It just means you don't want it bad enough. Yet struggling, it just means you don't want it bad enough. Yet here's how you finally do it and write this down. This is very, very important. If you're listening in the car, pause this, pull over to the side, write this down.

Speaker 1: 14:27

Come up with a list of reasons. A list of reasons why you want to change Could be for your kids, maybe it's your spouse. You see the people around us create a very powerful reason to change Very powerful reason. Or maybe you're just sick and tired of the way things are in your life. Disgust can also be a very powerful reason. I'm sick and tired of this piece of crap car that I'm driving. It always breaks down. I'm sick and tired of this house that I'm living in. I'm sick and tired of my neighbors. I'm sick and tired of not having any money. I'm sick and tired of my lousy boss. I'm sick and tired of this job that's taken up all my life and not paying me enough. Being sick and tired of something is also a powerful reason to. Maybe you want more happiness. You want less stress and anxiety. You want better health. You want more wealth.

Speaker 1: 15:23

There's a thousand good reasons to change, but it's important to write them down. Write them down. Keep this list in your pocket. Make another list that's the exact same. Put it on the mirror so you can see it every day. Remind yourself why you're changing, why you're doing something. The power of why is so important. You need to know why, and the reason for that is because the day-to-day grind is going to happen. I've talked about this in my last episodes. The day-to-day grind is going to happen. It's going to take over last episodes. The day-to-day grind is going to happen. It's going to take over.

Speaker 1: 16:03

You might be really inspired right now. You're like yes, let's go, I want to do this, I've got this thing, I've got this goal. But then tomorrow comes right. You didn't get good sleep. Your kid was up all night. You got these pressures at work. You got all these emails you got to follow up on. The pressures of life start to grind us down a little bit and we forget why we're doing what we're doing. And I've been there. I've been in the type of life where I'm just on autopilot. I don't even know why I'm getting up, going to work. I'm just doing it, I'm just doing it and life is kind of a blur. Next thing I know it's winter. Next thing I know it's spring. Next thing I know it's spring. Next thing I know a year has gone by and I'm in the same spot, and I don't want that to be you.

Speaker 1: 16:44

So write it down, make the list, put it where you can see it and remind yourself why you want to get better. And once you start seeing that list every day, it's going to create a repetition in your mind. It's going to begin to change the fundamentals and character traits that you have. It's going to start building a new person in you. It's going to start changing the way you think. We have to begin to change our thinking first, which then changes our actions, which then changes the results. We got to change our thinking first, which changes our actions and changes our results. Only then can you really begin to turn your life around. And it can be done.

Speaker 1: 17:28

You just didn't want it bad enough in the past. So you got to ask yourself right now how bad do you want it? How sick and tired of your current lifestyle are you? And maybe you're not sick and tired of everything. Hopefully that message ain't coming across here. Of course, there's good parts in our lives, but there's stuff in our lives too that we want to change, that we want to make better. So how sick and tired of those aspects are you, and do you know that there's better out there for you?

Speaker 1: 17:58

I'm amazed at how many people I talk to that are so stuck in the past or so stuck on this negative thing that's happening to them. They completely miss everything around them, the opportunities, the abundance. They think the economy is going to crap. So why even try? Why even try? Because the Democrats will take office or the Republicans will take office, or this is happening, or it's constantly bad weather, it's too hot, it's too rainy man, the list goes on and on and on. It's kind of like looking at a donut. Some people just see the whole. They can only focus on the negatives, the problems, the issues in their lives, while other people can see the positives, the opportunities, the abundance, the issues in their lives, while other people can see the positives, the opportunities, the abundance, the good things. Here's a good example Someone's father was an alcoholic, very abusive, and he's got two kids, one's Peter and one's William.

Speaker 1: 18:55

Peter grows up to be an alcoholic, just like his dad. And when we ask him, peter, why are you an alcoholic? Why do you do the things that you do? Well, because my dad was an alcoholic. He drank too much, he beat me, he made my life miserable. And all that he can do is focus on his past and the bad things that happened to him. He sees the hole in the donut.

Speaker 1: 19:20

Then you turn to William and William's a successful guy. William's doing well, he's got a beautiful family, he's happy, he's got opportunities around him. You say, william, why are you the way that you are? Why aren't you like your brother? And William says because my dad was an alcoholic and I never want to be like that. I never want to grow up like him. I want to do well for the world. I want to do well for myself, well for my kids. I want to have abundance and prosperity and happiness and peace. I want all of those things and peace. I want all of those things.

Speaker 1: 20:06

Peter looked at his past and all he saw and focused on was the whole. But William looked at his past and saw it as a reason to change. As a reason to change. Remember, if you have a strong enough reason to do something, you can do anything. You just need a list of reasons that's going to do it for this episode of the Dream Chasers. Now I have a quick favor to ask you If you've ever gotten any value from this podcast and you haven't already. Please leave us a review and share us with one person. It just takes a couple of seconds, but it really goes a long way in helping us create even better messages and helps us show the world that what we're doing here is actually valuable. So, once again, if you've ever gotten any value from the show and you haven't already, please take a moment, write a review and share the show with one person, and I will be eternally grateful. Remember, you were created for a purpose. Let's find it together.